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Tuesday, 27 August 2019


It is important to be open minded when going out with someone. Sure, you may hate them cutting their toenails into bed or leaving dirty dishes on the sink, as if curating an exhibition, but that's no problem.

Real dating alerts are usually a bit more complex than habits that you might post as behavioral problems.

And in today's love-at-first-swipe culture, where apps and social media have revolutionized the way we communicate, they are more nuanced than ever.
According to dating psychologist Madeleine Mason Roantree, a red flag can be defined as "something your partner does, indicating a lack of respect, integrity, or interest in the relationship."
Here are the eight red flags that you, according to dating experts, have to look out for and why.

You do not want to tag the relationship after a few months of dating

If Shakespeare were still there, he might be able to help us understand the ever-expanding language of love.

Unfortunately, the famous bard died in 1616, making us understand lexical ambiguities such as "seeing somebody" and "hanging out alone".
We live in a world where there are now many words that describe a person's relationship that are conveniently noncommittal and also meaningless.

If the person you are meeting / seeing / smooching / pulling / spooning refuses to mark after a few months (ie calling you her friend or friend), this could be a big one be red flag.

This may not only be a sign of lack of commitment, explains Mason Roantree, but also indicates that they are romantically involved with someone else.
"If your partner does not seem to talk about exclusivity and labels after several months, the relationship is probably not relevant to her," she tells The Independent.

They will no longer appear in their social media accounts after a few months

This is a niche and should be disclaimed: If you or your partner are not on social media or using Instagram solely to track cat accounts, you can probably ignore the following.

However, if you're someone whose partner is religiously flipping through Instagram / Twitter / Facebook and has exes on his profile in the past, Mason Roantree thinks this could be bad news if he has not posted anything about you yet.

"It could mean that they do not see you as a long-term option or are unwilling to show you the world," she explains.

The only exception? If it is a business account. In that case, it's fair enough not to post selfies of you two in front of the Eiffel Tower, complete with Love Heart Emojis and #CoupleGoals.

They never initiate appointments
It may sound simple, but when it comes to dating, it's pretty important to stick your neck out to make a plan, says Mason Roantree.

"When you always suggest when to meet, it's a one-sided relationship," she explains. "You have to do all the work for that.

"Someone who really cares about you will contribute and be proactive in the relationship."

Being proactive is attractive. Lean back and let someone do all the work while basking in the honor of not having to move a finger, it's not.

There is a performance imbalance
Dating means working together to support each other equally, says dating coach James Preece. Being in a happy relationship should feel like a team of the best kind, he says. If this is not the case and one of you continues to exercise control over the other submissive, consider it a bright red flag, he says The Independent.

"Signs of power imbalance can be in the form of jealousy or control of behavior," he explains. "Both can easily lead to the end of a relationship, so try to deal with it early instead of getting emotions under control."

Preece recommends clarifying your concerns, and if nothing changes, it's time for a revaluation.

They express your feelings differently

It's a good thing to have a balance between yin and yang in a relationship: what you lack is provided by your partner and vice versa. An example of this is how to express your love and affection for one another.

It may be that you are more of a romantic wordsmith - you constantly tell your partner that you adore and compliment him on compliments - while your partner is less appreciative of exuberant compliments and prefers benevolent actions.
The trouble is that if you tend in one direction, you can expect the same behavior from your partner, and if you do not get it, it can be disappointing, explains Preece.

"If you expect one thing and get another, you may not be as compatible as you hoped," he adds.

One of you keeps secrets

We're not just talking about fondling for pineapple-dipped pineapple. If you or your partner hide something from the other, it will inevitably cause damage to your relationship and is definitely a red flag, says Preece.

"We do not have to share every thought with our partner. But if one of you has something important in mind that hides, it becomes problematic because keeping secrets can affect your happiness and the idea of ​​being discovered can lead to paranoia and arguments. "

Latest Research on the Dating Website Elite singles have found that 34 percent of respondents consider sharing secrets an important part of establishing an intimate relationship. An open book also has advantages.

You will not compromise
You will never agree with everything with your partner, that goes without saying. For example, a recent study found that nearly one in ten couples separated during renovations and 15 percent said they were constantly hanging each other's necks.

But it's hugely important to learn, find a middle ground, and make key trade-offs for a relationship to flourish, Preece explains.

"Compromising is really about not standing up and keeping the peace," he says.
"It's about finding halfway where both parties can be happy - they're not thrilled, but not disappointed either."

If you notice that you and your partner barely have time to compromise, and one of you may refuse to move on a particular topic, then something very serious about your relationship may not be in order, "adds Preece ,

Your friends or family hate you

If the people you know best do not like your partner, this is an obvious red flag, says Preece.

"Sometimes it's easy to blink and just see what you want to see, but if your family or friends clearly dislike your partner, you need to understand why."

Of course, not everything can be a happy family and some people just do not get along. However, if you start to hear more negativity from your friends and family members, you may want to reevaluate your relationship.

Preece adds, "The people around you can often see things you'll never see."

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